I wish I could tell you face to face..

I'm only doing this to pass time til Danielley gets out of the shower :)

-I do not know why I felt the need to defend myself on my own blog, right at the start there.-

PJ's all lovely.

:)

Hey future husband.

I've been non-stop listening to Elena Tonra and Kate Nash recently.

Probably because they're amazing.

But yeah,

omnom.

And lol at me and Petch sing whispering at 4 in the morning to 'Took Your Breath Away', goodtimes.

I may be starting some photography course type thingy thing.

S'that's exciting huh?

For me anyway.

It's not what I want to do, but just until the new college calender starts up again, I spose it'll keep me occupied.

I need some new clothes :(

I need some money.

Please?

I don't know why, but I'm in quite a good mood.

I'm wearing tiny red socks.
^^
They're cute me thinks.

Because they're red perhaps?

Iuno.

OHOHOHOH.
We've just been talking about Reading.
I swear, I don't think I've ever been this excited in my life.
SUMMER. YOU ARE STILL TAKING TOO LONG.
Music. Alcomohol. Boys.
What more could any seventeen-year-old girl ask for?

Ah.

Bay gays. x

Instead of singing this stupid song.

<3

SHIT.
Bad mood.
(N)

DFKJGNAERIO
Yeah.

Fuck off now.
Stupid.

Hey. I'm Shaunie. I'm an inconsiderate twat. I'm selfish and loud and don't give a fuck about things which I should. I sulk and I shout and I can ruin the best of things.

See, now, I'm just not looking forward to tonight.
Explain that one for me.

Uhm, c'ya.

If only one of us had the guts tonight..

Hulo.

I'm a tad bored.
And feel a bit sick.

Hopefully tomorrow plays out alright. ^^
I really need some alcomohol.
And a dance to Kate Nash.
'Cause she's been on my brainbox for the past two days now.
And she's brilliant.

I saw the yummiest guys taday too.
And they saw me stuffing my face in some fancy Turkish restaurant.
Lovely.

I miss Dan and that lot. :(
That was the only good thing about college I spose.
The small amount of people I knew were great.
And Danielley.
Wtf. It seems like ages since I last saw you. Ah, tomorrow I'll rugby tackle you ;) Or yano, just gis you a hug.

I'm gonna' go listen to Bombay Bicycle Club some more.
Iuno.
Pass time I guess.

Bye kids.

And what if one of us had the guts tonight..

<3

Sweeter than heaven

Don't you just hate it when you allow yourself to be mislead?
Or when you look forward to something just to be let down, again? I do.

Today has been not so good. I woke up tired and passed the day in a sort-of-unconscious blur.
Then when I had time to myself, for the small five minutes it was, I just wanted to cry. But, that's hard when you have nowhere to do so. Stupid bedroom taking fucking long. ¬¬

I feel sick.

Oh wasn't it great to see a bunch of perhaps the loveliest guys EVER, not even glance twice in your direction.
Doesn't make you feel shit at all.
And I think girls could drive me to insanity. I honestly have tried to understand there 'ways' but nothing. I can't understand one bit of it.
I feel sorry for the gays they're with.
My gad.

Shit, I'm just moaning again aren't I?

I need a glass of water now, so,
Bai x

And hotter than hell.

<3

I'm such an animal

I really need to figure out what I'm going to be doing now.
I can't sit at home. And I'm eager to do something.
I have everyone looking for me too. I'm surprised at how nothing has shown up yet. :/

My mum made me a deal ^^
I can go to New Zealand for six weeks, as long as I have something sorted out for when I get back, like a vocational course or college or something. Though I'd rather slit my own wrists before I go back to college. ¬¬
S'that should be fun :D

Annddd Reading. Why is it so far away? Hurry up Summer. I don't think I can wait much longer.

I'm also so excited about decorating my room. Buying the paint tomorrow (Y) I canney wait.
And I'll mention it again, because I can, I'm getting my camera in three days :D :D

This weeks pretty booked up.
Filming with Petchy tomorrow at some point ?
Getting meh paints and fiz.
Thursday gig (Y) -gets to hawk face at te fitties- xD
Friday camera, more decorating, behbeh sitting.
Saturday -nothing as of yet-
And Daniel be coming round on Sunday. God I've missed him.
Well, looking back it's seems pretty boring. BUT IT SEEMS A LOT TO ME AKAY?

Diet's started. Though I don't like the word diet ¬¬ I'm just not eating as much as I use to. :)

I better go and carry on with Richard Branson's book. Laugh, but it's actually really good.
Tara.

And baby honestly, these teeth won't let you go.

<3

Tailored sheets, to fix this dirty bed..

Ohi.
So, they're leaving three days earlier? No biggie.
I won't see them for maybe two years? Who cares.
Tonight will be the last I see him? Oh wow.
This fucking kills.
A lot.
(Y)
So much for not allowing myself to get emotionally attached eh?
Stupid ¬¬

I'm looking forward to tonight. In a way. I'm eager to get some alcomohol down me.
Pass the night in a blur.
Or maybe I shouldn't?
Fuck it.
I will.
^^

Ah. And then tomorrow. Cakes.
CAKESCAKESCAKES.
:D
My goodness.
And some more JD.
OH. And I get's ta see my sister (Y) I've missed her loadsloads.
Life. Is. Great?
Fuck it.
Life's what you make it.
And I'm gonna' make mine great.

Thank you Petchy.
Like seriously.
I'm..maybe..madly in love with Emarosa?
Oh jeez.

A long blog.
Mibad.

For once this dirt won't come all off.

<3

If you kiss me goodnight..

I just wanted to jump across the table and grab him.
Just hug him 'til my arms felt numb. Cry 'til my tear ducts wore away. Beg 'til my voice disappeared.
I've been having uncountable arguments with myself. Questioning myself.
And it's all just piling up.
Breakdown on the way much?
Fuck away now Shaunie. Grow up.
Stop being immature and selfish.
But, I'm sure this is what I wanted just a week ago?
To be selfish. Inconsiderate.
Whathe fuck.

ANYWAY.
I'm decorating my room and getting a new camera (Y)
I need to change things I think.
I have an ideal picture of how I want it to look. I know it's not going to be like that, but I can hope, right?
Billy, you'll try and make it tomorrow, right?
I know you will.
'Cause now you'll feel guilty ^^
And, Petchy, you should come too :)
I would ask, but I know you're at college and exams and stuff.
BOO (N)

You know, thinking about..stuff (let's call it stuff), I could sit here and type everything I'm fed up of, everything I despise, everything I want, everything I crave.
Where will that get me?
Your answer is not the one I want to hear.
The answer I want isn't realistic.
It won't happen.

I would say I 'm sorry for moaning. Being depressing and all that jazz.
But I'm not.
Stop reading this shit.
That's all it is now.
A load of bullshit.

Bad, stupid ending (Y)
Typical.

I'll know every thing's alright..

<3

Here you are down on your knee's again..

Today was cool :)
I found out a lot, and had questions which were laying around for years answered. So that was good?
It was.
Truth hurts, right?

Hair dyed and tongue peirced (Y)
Woo.
Downside: I talk funny. ¬¬

I secretly loved the fact that we were standing in Camden singing The Man Who Can't Be Moved.
>.<
Goodtimes eh?

I can't be bothered with all the pointless drama anymore.
Even though it does tend to follow me around, I'm going to try my hardest to forget, or ignore it all.
Every bit of it.
I'm going to be selfish now. I don't need to be thinking about others' opinions. This is my time.
And I'm going to enjoy every single minute of it.
So, here I go..
(:

Billy and Petch are the best ^^
Oh. Trust me on that one.

Good golly.
It's freezing.
¬¬

An update is all. (:

Bai.

Trying to find air to breathe again.

<3